Red Autumn

The cypresses shed blood
Red on the asphalt, driven like
Snow at the marina, and
I deathlessly sneeze and
Cough, sniffling in
Leaf mold and the changing weather,
Watching yet another
Youthful season grow old
And senile. The summer
Waned helplessly before me
And could I have seized
It, and shook it by the shoulders
I would have, saying,
"Wait for me,
Just a little longer now."

My father says one more frost and
His lawn will lose its green.
He said this morning,
"Do I hear someone mowing?"
And, sure enough, the black
Neighbor who married that nice
Filipino woman was mowing the dust,
brown clouds soaring up
Into a clear and bright Alabama
Sky, little bits of dead grass
Slung out sideways from the blade and
His skin shining, hat too, bright white,
And my father says,
"I need to mow too."

The fiddle sings like a
Well-tuned train whistle, it screaming
In my ears out of the stock
Ford speakers and it drowning out
The lack of muffler, it giving me chills.
I headed to the end of the parkway
Where it hits the highway and
Stops, the highway running
North to South.
South led to the same, the familiar,
the dark and dirty foundry
And swollen hands, busted knuckles and
More sinus infections. It led
To the same too-soft beds and
Staticy televisions.
North went straight to my brave
And beautiful wilderness, dead
On into smooth pebbles worn
By water so clean you can drink it,
To tupelos reaching into creeks
Drying up in the winter's thirst,
To birches' silver knives waving in a
Stinging wind, to the year's last
Topwater bass that leap into my lap
And there,
There I made the
Tough choice.

"Another year," I said,
"Another season."

Let Me Tell You About Your New Boyfriend

He probably runs an atheism blog
He doesn't care about
Coming in stealing your
Heart because
He is a nihilist;
No consequences when he does wrong
So
He never, ever goes to jail

His car is new
Not
Paid for
But he can afford the payments
And
He has better insurance
Than me
But still complains about the price

His job is easy, he says it's hard.
His hands will never be calloused
They
Are thin and soft like
A woman's he

Still has both parents alive
But
They are divorced and he claims
Traumatization from that,
When he talks about his childhood
He will complain about that,

He is not
An only child
And he will have good relations
With his siblings.

He will never be covered in
Iron filings or grime.

He does not like the outdoors
And you don't either, so
That's fine and that way he'll
Never have fish guts on his
Shirt or never have B.O.

He doesn't mind paying
Rent and probably even
Makes house payments.
He is normal; working just to pay
For clothes to wear to work
And a house to leave vacant
While he's there.

He is good in bed and does
Not have performance
Anxiety.
His dick works even when he's
Drunk or takes the lorcets
He keeps secret from you.

He has big doe eyes
And will look straight
into your
Shit brown ones
And tell you
That he loves you, though
He doesn't really know
What that means and
Only says it because
You do.

He never gets mean
When he's drunk, he
Can handle his
Liquor
But
He will cry when intoxicated
And alone with you,
Probably about that divorce
Again
And
You will spend your
Effort
consoling him,
Poor baby poor sweet thing
It's okay I'm sorry
Et cetera.

He will
get mad though
And he will expect
Plenty from you
Get your shit together Christine
I can't have you
Laying up coloring all day
In your little books
What are you, nine? Why
Don't you clean the litter box
Your house smells like
Cat shit
That's why I
Always have you
Over to my
Place, you just seem
So sad Christine
Here
Why don't you move out
You should pick up more hours
Christine
Get your shit together
Depression's all
In your mind,
Et cetera.

He will be funny,
he steals
All the right jokes
From the internet
And Saturday night live
So y'all won't know, and
Being funny, your roommates
Will like him all right, not
Like they liked me, but
They'll like him enough.

he will leave you
And say
I just can't
handle you
Going to the psych ward
It's
Just so stressful
I've never
Dealt with a woman
That gets
Locked up

And you'll
come to me
saying
Allister
I'm so sorry
I know what
You felt like now
I'm so sorry

And I'll say
Yeah,
I guess
You
Do.

A Shoe

My heart
Like a shoe
In a dryer
Clangs and bumps
Pushing, bursting
Out the unlocked
Door of my chest

Slam it shut!
And good this time!
Back to thumping, whirring,
Humming loud and
Shaking.

A buzzer sounds,
A cloud of lint and steam
Signals peace, sleep.
I have found solace, and
My shoe is dry.

Summer Sweat

It's a fever-pitch
evening downtown
the heat still
radiates off of the walls and
asphalt,
hot
black and silver
daytime coming
from underneath,
so we're sweating
and it's
beer sweat, smelling
and thick, no breeze
in the alleyway
to cool our brows.

It's a low drone
buzzing to actual
conversation, meaning
it's
looks and gestures of heatstroke
until the beer
sweats out.

Those peers of the gingkos,
the streetlamps, shine
that orange sheen onto everything
and no one knows
what colors
the cars truly are.

Broken shafts
of light trickle down
to the sidewalk, where
a little
slick of vomit
reflects a green, then
yellow, then red
light.

Through a Lens

There's a rosy vision
in my mind
of you:

Making jokes in fireside flickers
and for moments
falling embers lit the night
so that we
might look
into the points of light
in each other's eyes.

The vision there before me
tasted of fireworks and
model train engine steam
the only
embers' shine
was
the end of
a Marlboro light.

But the jokes were still there
and through a joviality
we wrested back
control from the stars
and so
divine our own
horoscope-love, to
spin a zodiac back
around to Aquarius
and trip him with our feet.

Lauderdale

Come on come on
and what I mean here is
get your ass in the car.

Whadye mean you left yer
phone at home?
That sonovabitch,
you don't need it anyway.

You smell 'at clutch dust?
I kinda like the way it smells.

When you go down
to the creek and kinda try
to wash the road
grit from your forearms
in the cold water.

Flying down a county road
to get there
chasing daylight
at eight thirty in the evenin'
the sun is still up
and it's 89 degrees

"whoooooooooo!
Y'all smell 'at polecat!"

And you're yelling over
a blasting radio, it's playing
something you really
jam out to.
It's "Hold On Loosely"
or even, "Caught Up in You"

We talked about
the gun show and the fair.

We drank cheap
smoked brown
burned regular
in smoking vapor
trails all over
the county.

Racing the Waterloo
Cop down
redneck riviera
into the sunset.

Ocean

I hear your quiet calling,
Those silent screams
That teach me how to sing in
Whispers and mumbles of
Inner streams bubbling over
Outer rocks and stones.

From behind the veil of time
I still hear your voice squeaking
Like mice in a barn
And your eyes little faint
Blue holes in a blanket.

I stare over the side, at the sea
And in the blue, like your
Eyes, I am
Terrified by its immensity.

Your brazen Sun
Burns but
Freckles me.
And in that hot
Pain
There is health
Or death. I cannot tell which.

Wind, whipping
Words that chap my
Face while singing me
A song of movement
And grinding metal.

Your breeze
Lyrics like pavement
And salt-rot.
I can taste you in
Seawater
And cheap whiskey.

Lady Bug

I hear

in broken heartbeats

a syncopation of

sound 

making music

for the lonely.

and too here I follow the

ladybug on

the late night computer

screen, 

woken up by

a space heater

from his

cryogenic

slumber

in the window panes,

and I ask as I follow

him

do you have a want to leave my screen?

or to hear my shitty EDM?

And what were you doing on my mouse and keyboard

when I first walked in?

Did you hear that noise?

that song of

hearts

cracked like

violins

with loose strings?

Or are you too

loose

in your beetle

shell, lacking

proper

heartstrings

to tighten

and snap?

100 Dollar Bills

Ketchup clutched the bag in front of him and had long ago stripped away his seat belt.

"The fuck you want me to do man?"

"Keep the speed above ninety and don't get us dead."

"Hey, hey what the hell are you doin'?"

The Buick Riviera was moving down the freeway at an excellent clip. A golden secondhand paintjob  was ripe in the California sun with white leather; softop and all. Ketchup's man in the driver's seat kept having to flick the long, surfer sheen hair out of his face, and when he did so his right foot would press the throttle ever so slightly more, as if to check if there was a sixth gear or not. Watching now Ketchup instead of the road, he became disconcerted at the sight of his accomplice and headman the man oh man Ketchup Himself reaching into the bag and fingering its contents.

"Hey, Ketchup man what the hell are y'doin'!"

"Why the hell you think we knocked that place over, huh Rich? Why the hell do you think we usin' the freeway, huh?"

Ketchup flinched at the sheen of brake lights ahead and settled back into his side of the bench seat as Rich swung the wheel just gently enough not to spin out the Buick and dodge the slower vehicle.

"Plenty o'weight on the rear wheels huh Rich?"

"Look, just put it back under the seat a'right? Pretty soon we slow down and make an exit. I dunno, dump it in Brady's backyard and let it stew for a lil' while, see if it makes news, shit like that. Then we come back for it," Rich laid into the horn as he swerved around another vehicle.

The greatest thing about California, for blind old ladies and robbers alike, is that ninety on the freeway laying into the horn, or doing thirty-five in the fastlane, either one is still inconspicuous. It is hard on those grand viaducts to stand out; the nuts go unnoticed.

"Then we come back for it give Brady a lil' somethin' for his troubles y'know,"

"Fuck that man you can't act like you dunno why we did this" Ketchup kept one arm in the bag, gently stirring.

"Ketchup you got dat look in yer eye..."

And, sure enough, Ketchup's dark blue eyes had a sheen, like he might be about to cry or go catatonic. But he pulled his arm from the bag and Rich settled for a moment; he even slowed down to about eighty.

"There ya go man. Just chill, anyway like I was saying,"

"No, Rich, I was saying, and what I was saying was I wasn't really clear about why we drove out here a'right?" Ketchup rolled down those smooth power windows.

"The fuck do you mean?" He glanced at the open window, then the rearview for the cops. "This a set-up goddammit?"

"Not particularly," That look remained. He slid his arm gently back down into the bag.

Rich thought about reaching for it, or crashing the car. No, try to reason with him: "Look Ketchup just talk to me man,"

Ketchup grinned, flashed his eyes, and slung his arm out of the bag and out the window, cradling
100 dollar bills that scattered in a flock, twisting and flapping in the wind throughout the car and in an exponentially growing cone behind the car. A few vehicles behind them swerved and a few even slowed down when they saw what chaff was blowing on the road.

"Holy shit no, Ketchup, no!"

Ketchup grabbed the bag with both hands and sat his bony ass up on the door of the Buick,

"This is it Rich! Like a-hundred mile an hour picnic!"

Rich saw the next cloud of bills burst in a greater blast than before, scattering over eight lanes of traffic and some flying so high as to cross the median and land in the far lane. Cars began to slow and swerve with greater frequency. some managed to stop in the highway.

"There! Isn't this what yer all in the car for anyways? Isn't this what yer drivin' for!"

Rich kicked the throttle some, hitting ninety-five: "Goddammit man, this is the last time..."

Ketchup didn't hear the rest, the engine noise and a shift in the breeze across his ears left him with only the sound of his voice: "You buncha fuckers! Here ya go!" As he shook the bag the last great cloud of bills flew into the air. They burst in green anger, flipping and spinning, and tormented in their flight, and Rich saw in the rearview all the cars that stopped, and a few that wrecked, steaming hulks under the blazing California sun.

As they hit 100 miles an hour, a careless tanker-truck driver a mile or two behind was fumbling for another tape and hit his brakes too late, smashing into three cars and jackknifing its payload almost over the median. The median played its part too, though, and ruptured a poorly welded seam along the side of the tank. The payload was a small amount of gasoline, to be fair. It was destined for a tiny gas station in Ocean Beach, selling out from under the parking lot for seventy cents a gallon. However, it was enough to fuel a spark into a fireball that killed two, injured seventeen and scared the bejesus out of god-knows-how-many.

Rich and Ketchup both saw the black tower that rose from the viaduct, high into the air the cars themselves now behind the horizon, the road behind them empty. A dull doppler-thud from the explosion reached their ears.

"Goddamn worth a million dollars Rich!  A million goddamn dollars! You shoulda seen the looks on somma their faces! Like Jesus came back!"

Rich finally smiled, chuckled a bit, and tapped the throttle a bit unwillingly when he shook the hair from his eyes, heading north.