Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Unseen




I can't see that dog




It almost makes me cry






I still hate you


sometimes



leaving with him





and


I really

Hate





the internet


because now I can



still again




feel smell





his fur his puppy stink





but






it's just disjointed stupid







rambling




visions and memories






flashes of




mad daydreams

dead moths

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

"Whaur hae ye been sae braw, lad?"



I drink sour mash
and my
dead Scottish
forefathers
sleep in the rocks
and potato-peat
of Killiecrankie
and Culloden.

I taste the smoke
and my
ancestors do too,
and when the snow falls
and the clouds
steal the wind, I think
about the
hieland cots of stone and
grass
and how cold
we have always
been.

Fools
called heroes
with
hundreds
kneeling
at their
feet.
What makes a prince but
a crown?
What makes an eques
but the horse?

As I cough up tar
and sniffle snot
and sweat coffee
what makes health
but the illusion
of life?

What makes brave scions
but the hope
of an elder generation
and what is loyalty
other than gullibility?

I smell
biscuits
and manure
and my
immigrant
Appalachian
ghosts, slowly
dripping down
the mountain
chain, puddle
up in the
foothills
of the Land
of the Thicket-Clearers.

The coal smoke
billows
from
a handmade forge
and
a 12 gauge
blast
explodes
a cloud of crows
into flight.

And what is
a noise
but a break
in the silence?


Silly Me



She's got
her Eastern
European
and I've got
coupons to
Kentucky
Fried
Chicken.

In this silence
only typing
clicks and
the snore of a dog,
only the whir of the computer
and the high pitched
sizzle
of a muted TV
in the corner, disturb
any sedentary
lack of sound.

And I think of
the Eastern
European
boyfriend
and my coupons
and listen
all these little noises
and find
I have nothing
better to
dwell on.

Nothing better
than women I had
long
since
forsook
and what their Eastern
European boyfriend looks
like and how
big a boy he is.

Nothing better
than stirring
conscious shit,
nothing better to do
than make myself
feel forlorn
for something
I never had
in the first place.

Nothing better
than striving for
a noisy white-noise
silence and
thinking of
those wouldas
couldas
and shouldas.

The shoulda
been more open
the woulda been better
if
the coulda been
married by now.

Oh, the shouldas are the
damnedest.

I have nothing better
to do
than to save money up,
to save money buying
chicken
with coupons.

Monday, January 17, 2011

All Racism Found Herein Is Strictly for Ironic Purposes Only (A Story)



I smelled
a garage in childhood.

That stinging tang
of concrete and
kerosene, of rust
and carburetor cleaner.

I saw nostalgia
flare on the faces of
16-year olds
in flashy, expensive clothing.

Their wallets fat with
free money and eyes
bursting with lust.

The rain came down
as fireworks went up
and puddles of
dirty cigarette butt
water sullied women's
shiny shoes.

There I felt cold nasty
wetness in my toes, even
though I had
my boots 0n.

The January
sky toward the east
looked dry and blue
that day.

I remarked on the bare
branches over a church
and thought of them
like roots
in an atmosphere's soil.

I ate the coffee grounds
and even some
artichoke spines, but
I never did feel anything
in my heart, or gut.

But sometimes when
one meets a stranger
and she's
much too pretty
to be talking to
and it no longer matters
whether she's humoring,
pandering,
or genuinely
incredibly
talking.

It's not
like I have just one
thing to tell, but
I feel inclined
to talk about a lot.

And sing like a redbird
or just screech loudly
starling-cloud stories
and crap on
everyone's expensive
cars all the while.

The statues, too.
All the old rich
powdered white men
who rode horses over
the poor and the
indigenous for generations.

I'll be a pigeon in Jackson Square

spraying guano on
Ol' Hickory's coif of
brazen hair.