Ketchup clutched the bag in front of him and had long ago stripped away his seat belt.
"The fuck you want me to do man?"
"Keep the speed above ninety and don't get us dead."
"Hey, hey what the hell are you doin'?"
The Buick Riviera was moving down the freeway at an excellent clip. A golden secondhand paintjob was ripe in the California sun with white leather; softop and all. Ketchup's man in the driver's seat kept having to flick the long, surfer sheen hair out of his face, and when he did so his right foot would press the throttle ever so slightly more, as if to check if there was a sixth gear or not. Watching now Ketchup instead of the road, he became disconcerted at the sight of his accomplice and headman the man oh man Ketchup Himself reaching into the bag and fingering its contents.
"Hey, Ketchup man what the hell are y'doin'!"
"Why the hell you think we knocked that place over, huh Rich? Why the hell do you think we usin' the freeway, huh?"
Ketchup flinched at the sheen of brake lights ahead and settled back into his side of the bench seat as Rich swung the wheel just gently enough not to spin out the Buick and dodge the slower vehicle.
"Plenty o'weight on the rear wheels huh Rich?"
"Look, just put it back under the seat a'right? Pretty soon we slow down and make an exit. I dunno, dump it in Brady's backyard and let it stew for a lil' while, see if it makes news, shit like that. Then we come back for it," Rich laid into the horn as he swerved around another vehicle.
The greatest thing about California, for blind old ladies and robbers alike, is that ninety on the freeway laying into the horn, or doing thirty-five in the fastlane, either one is still inconspicuous. It is hard on those grand viaducts to stand out; the nuts go unnoticed.
"Then we come back for it give Brady a lil' somethin' for his troubles y'know,"
"Fuck that man you can't act like you dunno why we did this" Ketchup kept one arm in the bag, gently stirring.
"Ketchup you got dat look in yer eye..."
And, sure enough, Ketchup's dark blue eyes had a sheen, like he might be about to cry or go catatonic. But he pulled his arm from the bag and Rich settled for a moment; he even slowed down to about eighty.
"There ya go man. Just chill, anyway like I was saying,"
"No, Rich, I was saying, and what I was saying was I wasn't really clear about why we drove out here a'right?" Ketchup rolled down those smooth power windows.
"The fuck do you mean?" He glanced at the open window, then the rearview for the cops. "This a set-up goddammit?"
"Not particularly," That look remained. He slid his arm gently back down into the bag.
Rich thought about reaching for it, or crashing the car. No, try to reason with him: "Look Ketchup just talk to me man,"
Ketchup grinned, flashed his eyes, and slung his arm out of the bag and out the window, cradling
100 dollar bills that scattered in a flock, twisting and flapping in the wind throughout the car and in an exponentially growing cone behind the car. A few vehicles behind them swerved and a few even slowed down when they saw what chaff was blowing on the road.
"Holy shit no, Ketchup, no!"
Ketchup grabbed the bag with both hands and sat his bony ass up on the door of the Buick,
"This is it Rich! Like a-hundred mile an hour picnic!"
Rich saw the next cloud of bills burst in a greater blast than before, scattering over eight lanes of traffic and some flying so high as to cross the median and land in the far lane. Cars began to slow and swerve with greater frequency. some managed to stop in the highway.
"There! Isn't this what yer all in the car for anyways? Isn't this what yer drivin' for!"
Rich kicked the throttle some, hitting ninety-five: "Goddammit man, this is the last time..."
Ketchup didn't hear the rest, the engine noise and a shift in the breeze across his ears left him with only the sound of his voice: "You buncha fuckers! Here ya go!" As he shook the bag the last great cloud of bills flew into the air. They burst in green anger, flipping and spinning, and tormented in their flight, and Rich saw in the rearview all the cars that stopped, and a few that wrecked, steaming hulks under the blazing California sun.
As they hit 100 miles an hour, a careless tanker-truck driver a mile or two behind was fumbling for another tape and hit his brakes too late, smashing into three cars and jackknifing its payload almost over the median. The median played its part too, though, and ruptured a poorly welded seam along the side of the tank. The payload was a small amount of gasoline, to be fair. It was destined for a tiny gas station in Ocean Beach, selling out from under the parking lot for seventy cents a gallon. However, it was enough to fuel a spark into a fireball that killed two, injured seventeen and scared the bejesus out of god-knows-how-many.
Rich and Ketchup both saw the black tower that rose from the viaduct, high into the air the cars themselves now behind the horizon, the road behind them empty. A dull doppler-thud from the explosion reached their ears.
"Goddamn worth a million dollars Rich! A million goddamn dollars! You shoulda seen the looks on somma their faces! Like Jesus came back!"
Rich finally smiled, chuckled a bit, and tapped the throttle a bit unwillingly when he shook the hair from his eyes, heading north.
"The fuck you want me to do man?"
"Keep the speed above ninety and don't get us dead."
"Hey, hey what the hell are you doin'?"
The Buick Riviera was moving down the freeway at an excellent clip. A golden secondhand paintjob was ripe in the California sun with white leather; softop and all. Ketchup's man in the driver's seat kept having to flick the long, surfer sheen hair out of his face, and when he did so his right foot would press the throttle ever so slightly more, as if to check if there was a sixth gear or not. Watching now Ketchup instead of the road, he became disconcerted at the sight of his accomplice and headman the man oh man Ketchup Himself reaching into the bag and fingering its contents.
"Hey, Ketchup man what the hell are y'doin'!"
"Why the hell you think we knocked that place over, huh Rich? Why the hell do you think we usin' the freeway, huh?"
Ketchup flinched at the sheen of brake lights ahead and settled back into his side of the bench seat as Rich swung the wheel just gently enough not to spin out the Buick and dodge the slower vehicle.
"Plenty o'weight on the rear wheels huh Rich?"
"Look, just put it back under the seat a'right? Pretty soon we slow down and make an exit. I dunno, dump it in Brady's backyard and let it stew for a lil' while, see if it makes news, shit like that. Then we come back for it," Rich laid into the horn as he swerved around another vehicle.
The greatest thing about California, for blind old ladies and robbers alike, is that ninety on the freeway laying into the horn, or doing thirty-five in the fastlane, either one is still inconspicuous. It is hard on those grand viaducts to stand out; the nuts go unnoticed.
"Then we come back for it give Brady a lil' somethin' for his troubles y'know,"
"Fuck that man you can't act like you dunno why we did this" Ketchup kept one arm in the bag, gently stirring.
"Ketchup you got dat look in yer eye..."
And, sure enough, Ketchup's dark blue eyes had a sheen, like he might be about to cry or go catatonic. But he pulled his arm from the bag and Rich settled for a moment; he even slowed down to about eighty.
"There ya go man. Just chill, anyway like I was saying,"
"No, Rich, I was saying, and what I was saying was I wasn't really clear about why we drove out here a'right?" Ketchup rolled down those smooth power windows.
"The fuck do you mean?" He glanced at the open window, then the rearview for the cops. "This a set-up goddammit?"
"Not particularly," That look remained. He slid his arm gently back down into the bag.
Rich thought about reaching for it, or crashing the car. No, try to reason with him: "Look Ketchup just talk to me man,"
Ketchup grinned, flashed his eyes, and slung his arm out of the bag and out the window, cradling
100 dollar bills that scattered in a flock, twisting and flapping in the wind throughout the car and in an exponentially growing cone behind the car. A few vehicles behind them swerved and a few even slowed down when they saw what chaff was blowing on the road.
"Holy shit no, Ketchup, no!"
Ketchup grabbed the bag with both hands and sat his bony ass up on the door of the Buick,
"This is it Rich! Like a-hundred mile an hour picnic!"
Rich saw the next cloud of bills burst in a greater blast than before, scattering over eight lanes of traffic and some flying so high as to cross the median and land in the far lane. Cars began to slow and swerve with greater frequency. some managed to stop in the highway.
"There! Isn't this what yer all in the car for anyways? Isn't this what yer drivin' for!"
Rich kicked the throttle some, hitting ninety-five: "Goddammit man, this is the last time..."
Ketchup didn't hear the rest, the engine noise and a shift in the breeze across his ears left him with only the sound of his voice: "You buncha fuckers! Here ya go!" As he shook the bag the last great cloud of bills flew into the air. They burst in green anger, flipping and spinning, and tormented in their flight, and Rich saw in the rearview all the cars that stopped, and a few that wrecked, steaming hulks under the blazing California sun.
As they hit 100 miles an hour, a careless tanker-truck driver a mile or two behind was fumbling for another tape and hit his brakes too late, smashing into three cars and jackknifing its payload almost over the median. The median played its part too, though, and ruptured a poorly welded seam along the side of the tank. The payload was a small amount of gasoline, to be fair. It was destined for a tiny gas station in Ocean Beach, selling out from under the parking lot for seventy cents a gallon. However, it was enough to fuel a spark into a fireball that killed two, injured seventeen and scared the bejesus out of god-knows-how-many.
Rich and Ketchup both saw the black tower that rose from the viaduct, high into the air the cars themselves now behind the horizon, the road behind them empty. A dull doppler-thud from the explosion reached their ears.
"Goddamn worth a million dollars Rich! A million goddamn dollars! You shoulda seen the looks on somma their faces! Like Jesus came back!"
Rich finally smiled, chuckled a bit, and tapped the throttle a bit unwillingly when he shook the hair from his eyes, heading north.
