He probably runs an atheism blog
He doesn't care about
Coming in stealing your
Heart because
He is a nihilist;
No consequences when he does wrong
So
He never, ever goes to jail
His car is new
Not
Paid for
But he can afford the payments
And
He has better insurance
Than me
But still complains about the price
His job is easy, he says it's hard.
His hands will never be calloused
They
Are thin and soft like
A woman's he
Still has both parents alive
But
They are divorced and he claims
Traumatization from that,
When he talks about his childhood
He will complain about that,
He is not
An only child
And he will have good relations
With his siblings.
He will never be covered in
Iron filings or grime.
He does not like the outdoors
And you don't either, so
That's fine and that way he'll
Never have fish guts on his
Shirt or never have B.O.
He doesn't mind paying
Rent and probably even
Makes house payments.
He is normal; working just to pay
For clothes to wear to work
And a house to leave vacant
While he's there.
He is good in bed and does
Not have performance
Anxiety.
His dick works even when he's
Drunk or takes the lorcets
He keeps secret from you.
He has big doe eyes
And will look straight
into your
Shit brown ones
And tell you
That he loves you, though
He doesn't really know
What that means and
Only says it because
You do.
He never gets mean
When he's drunk, he
Can handle his
Liquor
But
He will cry when intoxicated
And alone with you,
Probably about that divorce
Again
And
You will spend your
Effort
consoling him,
Poor baby poor sweet thing
It's okay I'm sorry
Et cetera.
He will
get mad though
And he will expect
Plenty from you
Get your shit together Christine
I can't have you
Laying up coloring all day
In your little books
What are you, nine? Why
Don't you clean the litter box
Your house smells like
Cat shit
That's why I
Always have you
Over to my
Place, you just seem
So sad Christine
Here
Why don't you move out
You should pick up more hours
Christine
Get your shit together
Depression's all
In your mind,
Et cetera.
He will be funny,
he steals
All the right jokes
From the internet
And Saturday night live
So y'all won't know, and
Being funny, your roommates
Will like him all right, not
Like they liked me, but
They'll like him enough.
he will leave you
And say
I just can't
handle you
Going to the psych ward
It's
Just so stressful
I've never
Dealt with a woman
That gets
Locked up
And you'll
come to me
saying
Allister
I'm so sorry
I know what
You felt like now
I'm so sorry
And I'll say
Yeah,
I guess
You
Do.
